• The Lobe-otomy Lube herbal ear stretching balm for gauged ears in amber glass jar with product label, displayed with spooky zombie characters and Emerald Coast Alternatives branding
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EmeraldCoastAlternatives

The Lobe-otomy Lube: Herbal Ear Stretching Balm for Gauged Ears & Piercing Aftercare

The Lobe-otomy Lube: Herbal Ear Stretching Balm for Gauged Ears & Piercing Aftercare

$26.66 USD
$33.00 USD $26.66 USD
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Scent

The Lobe-otomy Lube - Herbal Ear Stretching Balm for Gauged Ears & Piercing Aftercare

Softness is the aftercare.

Meet The Lobe-otomy Lube, the sacred herbal salve for the pierced, the stretched, and the unrepentantly adorned. This handcrafted ear care balm is double-infused with calendula, yarrow, jojoba oil, beeswax, vitamin E, and sandalwood-amber essential oil (or unscented for sensitive skin) to revive ears that have seen things.

Use it after showering, after cleaning, or whenever you switch your jewelry, when your lobes are most open to healing and hydration. It seals in softness, tames irritation, and leaves you smelling faintly like a forest séance.
Because healing doesn't have to be holy. Sometimes it's just haunted.

✨ What This Herbal Ear Balm Does

  • Calms inflammation & irritation after stretching, gauging, or jewelry changes
  • Keeps stretched ears soft, hydrated & resilient - no more angry, dry lobes
  • Reduces cracking, blowouts & "angry ear" moments with anti-bacterial, anti-fungal botanicals
  • Multi-use magic: Works on tattoos, cuticles, scars, and skin that's survived battle
  • Non-greasy formula absorbs quickly without clogging pores or leaving residue

🌲 Key Ingredients (The Science Behind the Spell)

🌿 Double-Infused Calendula & Yarrow Jojoba Oil Skin-mimicking moisture that soothes, repairs, and restores tissue integrity. Anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties protect healing piercings and stretched lobes from infection.
🐝 Beeswax Creates a breathable, protective barrier that locks in hydration without suffocating your skin.
💧 Vitamin E Oil Powerful antioxidant that speeds healing, reduces scarring, and keeps skin supple during the stretching process.
🌲 Organic Amber-Sandalwood Essential Oil (or Unscented) Grounding, anti-inflammatory, and subtly aromatic. Supports skin regeneration, reduces redness, and calms the nervous system. Also available unscented for sensitive skin.

🕯️ How to Use (The Ritual)

  1. Warm a rice-sized amount between your fingers.
  2. Massage gently into freshly cleaned lobes, ideally post-shower or after changing jewelry.
  3. Breathe. Whisper sweet nothings to your ears. They've earned it.
💀 Pro tip: Use daily during active stretching, or as-needed for maintenance. Your lobes will thank you.

🖤 Who This Ear Stretching Balm Is For

  • Humans with gauged, stretched, or freshly pierced ears
  • Anyone healing from blowouts, irritation, or dryness
  • Tattoo collectors, body mod enthusiasts, and piercing aftercare perfectionists
  • Sensitive skin haunteds those who need gentle, natural, effective care
  • People who want their ear care to feel like a ritual, not a chore

🩸 Why You'll Love It

✔️ Cruelty-free, small-batch, handcrafted in Gulf Breeze, FL
✔️ No synthetic fragrances, parabens, or petrochemicals
✔️ Works fast, visible softness and relief within days
✔️ Smells like a forest séance (or nothing at all, if you prefer)

💬 What Haunted Humans Are Saying

"My lobes were SO dry and angry after sizing up. This balm brought them back to life in 3 days. Also obsessed with the name." — Alex, 1/2" gauges

"I use this on my tattoos, my cuticles, AND my ears. It's basically magic in a tin." — River, piercing enthusiast

"Finally, ear care that doesn't feel clinical. The sandalwood scent is chef's kiss." — Morgan, 00g

🛒 Ready to Heal?

Add to cart and give your lobes the aftercare they deserve. Because you're not broken, you're just beautifully haunted. 🖤

🗓️ How do I schedule my reading?

After you purchase your Haunted Birth Chart Reading, our support team will reach out to you within 1–2 business days to schedule your session at a time that works best for you.

You’ll receive an email with a few available time slots, and once confirmed, we’ll send you your session link and any info we need (like birth date, time, and location).

✨ Easy. Personal. Flexible.

🔮 What do I need to order a reading?

All you need is your birth date, birth time, and city or location and about two minutes of witchy enthusiasm. 🖤

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Add your Haunted Birth Chart Reading to your cart.

Step 2: In the text box at checkout, enter your birth date, time, and city/location (and any special focus you’d like, love, home, family, career, or purpose).

Step 3: Complete checkout! Our Spooky Support Team will email you within 1–2 business days to set up your 45-minute live 1:1 call.

That’s it! No pressure, no awkward scheduling portals, just a simple process to help you step into your cosmic haunted house with confidence and curiosity.
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